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+ <H1>[Mageia-discuss] Cultural difference: &quot;Let your yes be yes&quot; &lt;---&gt; &quot;It is rude to say no&quot;</H1>
+ <B>Marja van Waes</B>
+ <A HREF="mailto:mageia-discuss%40mageia.org?Subject=Re%3A%20%5BMageia-discuss%5D%20Cultural%20difference%3A%20%22Let%20your%20yes%20be%20yes%22%0A%20%3C---%3E%20%22It%20is%20rude%20to%20say%20no%22&In-Reply-To=%3C4FFFC130.5070503%40xs4all.nl%3E"
+ TITLE="[Mageia-discuss] Cultural difference: &quot;Let your yes be yes&quot; &lt;---&gt; &quot;It is rude to say no&quot;">marja11 at xs4all.nl
+ </A><BR>
+ <I>Fri Jul 13 08:33:20 CEST 2012</I>
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+<PRE>On 13/07/2012 04:47, andre999 wrote:
+&gt;<i> Marja van Waes a &#233;crit :
+</I>
+&gt;&gt;<i>
+</I>&gt;&gt;<i> The reason I started this thread, is that I sometimes have the
+</I>&gt;&gt;<i> impression that we have some contributors in Mageia, who haven't
+</I>&gt;&gt;<i> really learnt to say &quot;no&quot; or &quot;it is ready when it is ready&quot;
+</I>&gt;&gt;<i>
+</I>&gt;&gt;<i> Instead of telling them they are liars, I hope we'll have more
+</I>&gt;&gt;<i> compassion on them.
+</I>&gt;&gt;<i> I hope we'll ask: &quot;Hey, what happened? Were you ill? Did you have too
+</I>&gt;&gt;<i> much to do for your day time job? You said you'd finish this task
+</I>&gt;&gt;<i> before last week and it still isn't finished&quot;
+</I>
+The part between &quot; &quot; was something that (in a slightly different form)
+doktor5000 suggested to ask in such situations
+&gt;&gt;<i>
+</I>&gt;<i> Or just be more realistic.
+</I>&gt;<i> Don't forget that often people will say yes because they would like to
+</I>&gt;<i> do something, without seriously considering the various demands on their
+</I>&gt;<i> time. They think it is a good idea, and they want to contribute. (I tend
+</I>&gt;<i> to be somewhat like that.)
+</I>&gt;<i> So it is not only people saying &quot;yes&quot; when they mean &quot;no&quot;.
+</I>&gt;<i> And once they have said &quot;yes&quot;, like almost everyone, they find it more
+</I>&gt;<i> difficult to say &quot;no&quot; later on. After all, they still think it is
+</I>&gt;<i> something that should be done.
+</I>&gt;<i>
+</I>&gt;<i> So using the concept of &quot;lying&quot;, those accusing others of &quot;lying&quot; could
+</I>&gt;<i> be seen as largely stretching the truth. (Or simply being blind to
+</I>&gt;<i> reality.)
+</I>&gt;<i>
+</I>
+There is another one:
+I already knew a good friend of me needs to put her phone very far away
+from her bed, because if she doesn't do that, she'll answer it in her
+sleep and agree to do anything people ask her.
+Yesterday morning very early I ponged someone on IRC. We talked a little
+and I asked him permission for something. Fine with him (which surprised
+me, to be honest, I had expected a no or at the most a yes to an
+adjusted form of my proposal). Last evening, I referred to the time at
+which we had had the chat of that morning. He wasn't aware of it, he
+thought he was sleeping at that time. So I inquired about what he had
+agreed on. Well, he wasn't aware of that either. He surely was very
+unhappy with it.
+
+So that agreement doesn't count.
+First of all because I was wrong to ask something that I would never say
+&quot;yes&quot; to myself. (Thank you for making me aware - in another reply in
+this thread - that we need to be considerate when asking things of people)
+Secondly because he was in a state between sleeping and waking when
+&quot;agreeing&quot;
+
+</PRE>
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