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<H1>[Mageia-discuss] Cultural difference: "Let your yes be yes" <---> "It is rude to say no"</H1>
<B>Marja van Waes</B>
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TITLE="[Mageia-discuss] Cultural difference: "Let your yes be yes" <---> "It is rude to say no"">marja11 at xs4all.nl
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<I>Fri Jul 13 08:33:20 CEST 2012</I>
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<PRE>On 13/07/2012 04:47, andre999 wrote:
><i> Marja van Waes a écrit :
</I>
>><i>
</I>>><i> The reason I started this thread, is that I sometimes have the
</I>>><i> impression that we have some contributors in Mageia, who haven't
</I>>><i> really learnt to say "no" or "it is ready when it is ready"
</I>>><i>
</I>>><i> Instead of telling them they are liars, I hope we'll have more
</I>>><i> compassion on them.
</I>>><i> I hope we'll ask: "Hey, what happened? Were you ill? Did you have too
</I>>><i> much to do for your day time job? You said you'd finish this task
</I>>><i> before last week and it still isn't finished"
</I>
The part between " " was something that (in a slightly different form)
doktor5000 suggested to ask in such situations
>><i>
</I>><i> Or just be more realistic.
</I>><i> Don't forget that often people will say yes because they would like to
</I>><i> do something, without seriously considering the various demands on their
</I>><i> time. They think it is a good idea, and they want to contribute. (I tend
</I>><i> to be somewhat like that.)
</I>><i> So it is not only people saying "yes" when they mean "no".
</I>><i> And once they have said "yes", like almost everyone, they find it more
</I>><i> difficult to say "no" later on. After all, they still think it is
</I>><i> something that should be done.
</I>><i>
</I>><i> So using the concept of "lying", those accusing others of "lying" could
</I>><i> be seen as largely stretching the truth. (Or simply being blind to
</I>><i> reality.)
</I>><i>
</I>
There is another one:
I already knew a good friend of me needs to put her phone very far away
from her bed, because if she doesn't do that, she'll answer it in her
sleep and agree to do anything people ask her.
Yesterday morning very early I ponged someone on IRC. We talked a little
and I asked him permission for something. Fine with him (which surprised
me, to be honest, I had expected a no or at the most a yes to an
adjusted form of my proposal). Last evening, I referred to the time at
which we had had the chat of that morning. He wasn't aware of it, he
thought he was sleeping at that time. So I inquired about what he had
agreed on. Well, he wasn't aware of that either. He surely was very
unhappy with it.
So that agreement doesn't count.
First of all because I was wrong to ask something that I would never say
"yes" to myself. (Thank you for making me aware - in another reply in
this thread - that we need to be considerate when asking things of people)
Secondly because he was in a state between sleeping and waking when
"agreeing"
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