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authorNicolas Vigier <boklm@mageia.org>2013-04-14 13:46:12 +0000
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+ <H1>[Mageia-discuss] Cultural difference: &quot;Let your yes be yes&quot; &lt;---&gt; &quot;It is rude to say no&quot;</H1>
+ <B>Marja van Waes</B>
+ <A HREF="mailto:mageia-discuss%40mageia.org?Subject=Re%3A%20%5BMageia-discuss%5D%20Cultural%20difference%3A%20%22Let%20your%20yes%20be%20yes%22%0A%20%3C---%3E%20%22It%20is%20rude%20to%20say%20no%22&In-Reply-To=%3C4FFFFE11.9080203%40xs4all.nl%3E"
+ TITLE="[Mageia-discuss] Cultural difference: &quot;Let your yes be yes&quot; &lt;---&gt; &quot;It is rude to say no&quot;">marja11 at xs4all.nl
+ </A><BR>
+ <I>Fri Jul 13 12:53:05 CEST 2012</I>
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+<PRE>On 13/07/2012 08:42, Wolfgang Bornath wrote:
+&gt;<i> All this leaves me wondering open-mouthed. Wondering how people yould
+</I>&gt;<i> manage their daily lives when they don't want to use a clear negative
+</I>&gt;<i> answer to a question where &quot;yes&quot; and &quot;no&quot; would cause different
+</I>&gt;<i> consequences.
+</I>&gt;<i>
+</I>&gt;<i> Marjy, if I'd ask you &quot;Would it be ok when I come visiting next week?&quot;
+</I>&gt;<i> I need a valid answer because if you say &quot;yes&quot; I will buy a ticket and
+</I>&gt;<i> hop on the train next monday. And I'd be very surprised if I will
+</I>&gt;<i> knock on your door and you are not there because you said &quot;yes&quot; just
+</I>&gt;<i> out of being polite.
+</I>&gt;<i>
+</I>
+No fear. You're welcome, the guest room is free and the owner of this
+house agrees.
+However, I might be gone for up to 30 hrs next week, because I might
+have to accompany an elderly relative to hospital. You won't feel lost
+then, there are a lot of nice people living in this area ;)
+
+&gt;<i>I still don't think it is rude to reply &quot;no&quot; where
+</I>&gt;<i> &quot;no&quot; is the correct answer. Actually I find it quite rude to give the
+</I>&gt;<i> other the impression of being ready to do something while I have not
+</I>&gt;<i> the slightest intention to really do it.
+</I>
+What I was trying to get across, is that learning that saying &quot;no&quot; is
+not evil, can take very many years. If you are raised in such a culture,
+it means you are programmed that way. You can't reboot yourself and boot
+into the &quot;it is OK to say &quot;no&quot;&quot; mode.
+
+It took me very many years (it was a gradual process) to really learn it.
+
+I don't see how someone else could achieve this in a split second.
+
+It can even be worse, I know of a Chinese woman (a very bright one,
+besides that: she has studied in the West and speaks English very well)
+who works in the IT and who went to great lengths to do something her
+mentor told her to do (that is what she thought, in spite of all the
+time she had spent in the West and in spite of all the time she had
+already been working for a Western company) what he never asked of her
+(in his western mind).
+
+But I'll put that in another thread, that is another cultural difference
+
+</PRE>
+
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