[Mageia-discuss] Cultural difference: indirect request <---> direct request

Fri Jul 13 21:24:22 CEST 2012

As said in the other Cultural difference thread, I'm putting this in a 
+new one.
+
+I know of a very bright Chinese woman who works in the IT, who went to 
+great lengths to do something she thought a colleague had asked her to 
+do, while he actually never asked her.
+
+What was the case?
+
+He (my brother Remi) has friends who adopted two Chinese girls. One of 
+the girls, Eline, was a foundling from Chongqing. She was very concerned 
+about her biological parents, always asking her adoptive mother, Wilma, 
+questions about them.
+
+Then Remi had to transfer work to Jocelyn. When he heard she came from 
+Chongqing, he told her about Eline.
+
+Jocelyn then said she'd try to find them. She did a tremendous job, she 
+contacted local media and even found a local television station that was 
+willing to broadcast the story about Eline at prime time. Later she put 
+up posters. Then she got help from a journalist who continued searching 
+and contacted her later, to tell her he though he'd found them. DNA 
+tests have proven he was right.
+
+Later when Eline's adoptive mother Wilma talked to Jocelyn, she was 
+amazed to hear that Jocelyn said that Remi had *asked* her to help find 
+the girl's parents, while Remi had always said that Jocelyn had 
+spontaneously *offered* her help.
+
+So Wilma inquired further. In fact, both told the same story: Remi had 
+told about Eline and Jocelyn had said she'd help find her Chinese parents.
+
+The only difference was in the interpretation: When Remi told about 
+Eline's wish to see her biological parents, Jocelyn interpreted that as 
+a request to go look for them, while for Remi it was just something he 
+told because of the coincidence that she came from the same region, 
+without expecting her to do anything.
+
+Wilma told us that in China it is normal to ask for things in an 
+indirect way. It is also what I read here:
+http://www.chinainfo.nl/chpleaseE.html
+"When Chinese intend to ask a favor.........the most discrete, indirect 
+approach is used."
+
+For Eline the misunderstanding between Remi and Jocelyn turned out 
+really well, though. She is thriving a lot better since she met her 
+biological parents and stays in touch with them. :-D
+
+Oh, by the way: Jocelyn had studied in England, she knew the Western 
+culture.
+
+I don't know how long it would take me to learn to recognise indirect 
+requests or to ask for a favour in an indirect way, if I moved to China 
+today
+
+
+