[Mageia-discuss] Cultural difference: "Let your yes be yes" <---> "It is rude to say no"

Fri Jul 13 08:33:20 CEST 2012

On 13/07/2012 04:47, andre999 wrote:
+> Marja van Waes a écrit :
+
+>>
+>> The reason I started this thread, is that I sometimes have the
+>> impression that we have some contributors in Mageia, who haven't
+>> really learnt to say "no" or "it is ready when it is ready"
+>>
+>> Instead of telling them they are liars, I hope we'll have more
+>> compassion on them.
+>> I hope we'll ask: "Hey, what happened? Were you ill? Did you have too
+>> much to do for your day time job? You said you'd finish this task
+>> before last week and it still isn't finished"
+
+The part between " " was something that (in a slightly different form) 
+doktor5000 suggested to ask in such situations
+>>
+> Or just be more realistic.
+> Don't forget that often people will say yes because they would like to
+> do something, without seriously considering the various demands on their
+> time. They think it is a good idea, and they want to contribute. (I tend
+> to be somewhat like that.)
+> So it is not only people saying "yes" when they mean "no".
+> And once they have said "yes", like almost everyone, they find it more
+> difficult to say "no" later on. After all, they still think it is
+> something that should be done.
+>
+> So using the concept of "lying", those accusing others of "lying" could
+> be seen as largely stretching the truth. (Or simply being blind to
+> reality.)
+>
+
+There is another one:
+I already knew a good friend of me needs to put her phone very far away 
+from her bed, because if she doesn't do that, she'll answer it in her 
+sleep and agree to do anything people ask her.
+Yesterday morning very early I ponged someone on IRC. We talked a little 
+and I asked him permission for something. Fine with him (which surprised 
+me, to be honest, I had expected a no or at the most a yes to an 
+adjusted form of my proposal). Last evening, I referred to the time at 
+which we had had the chat of that morning. He wasn't aware of it, he 
+thought he was sleeping at that time. So I inquired about what he had 
+agreed on. Well, he wasn't aware of that either. He surely was very 
+unhappy with it.
+
+So that agreement doesn't count.
+First of all because I was wrong to ask something that I would never say 
+"yes" to myself. (Thank you for making me aware - in another reply in 
+this thread - that we need to be considerate when asking things of people)
+Secondly because he was in a state between sleeping and waking when 
+"agreeing"
+
+